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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796682">This Close to Something Amazing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti'>lionessvalenti</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Oddly Sweet and Terribly Dirty [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bestiality, Comfort No Hurt, Fluff and Smut, Knotting, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:08:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky reclaim something shameful for themselves. As long as Jackal is willing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Oddly Sweet and Terribly Dirty [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618030</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>What Fen Do (Instead of Going Outside)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>This Close to Something Amazing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/seinmit/gifts">seinmit</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve cracked eggs into the pan one at a time. It was a big pan, but the half dozen eggs still managed to fuse their whites together no matter how hard he tried to keep them apart. Oh well, they'd have a spatula-cut rectangle of eggs each.</p><p>He and Bucky had big appetites, their bodies always running on high, so massive breakfasts needed to be every morning. It was one of those things that sometimes fell between the cracks in the rest of Steve's life outside of Wakanda. Meals were never quite as hearty (or as healthy) as they should be to keep him going. But he kept going anyway.</p><p>It would be easy to stay, Steve thought lazily. He often entertained the fantasy, knowing it was nothing more than that. He couldn't stay, and he was already feeling the weight of this visit, as it was coming to a close. He could never stay long, and he'd already been there four days. He could sometimes stay a week, but that was even too long. It was pressure on T'Challa, on Sam and Natasha, the longer he stayed, no matter how good the reason. He couldn't do that to them for his own wants.</p><p>However, it was still nice to think about what his life could be like, waking up in bed with Bucky every morning, cooking their meals, and helping him around the farm. Even further in the future; having children, growing old together, like they always thought they would. He could slip into this domestic life so easily, if things were only a little bit different.</p><p>The back door opened and Bucky entered, with Jackal at his heels. While Jackal sniffed around the kitchen for the telltale scent of bacon, Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve's waist, pressing his front flush against Steve's back.</p><p>"Oh, you're sweaty," Steve said, half laughing. He was wearing a thin t-shirt and he could feel the warm dampness of Bucky's shirt through the layers. He didn't smell bad, though, just a bit of hay and hard work.</p><p>"It's hot out." Bucky kissed Steve's neck, right behind his ear, and stayed there, holding Steve, with his cheek resting against Steve's shoulder.</p><p>Steve gave the pan a gentle shake to make sure the eggs weren't sticking. He was cooking them in butter, but he still wanted to check. "Bacon and eggs all right?"</p><p>"Mmhmm," Bucky agreed.</p><p>"You want to put down some toast?"</p><p>"Sure." However, Bucky stayed put.</p><p>Steve turned off the burner because under-cooked eggs were better than burnt eggs. He turned around, gently holding Bucky in place so they were facing each other. "Everything all right?"</p><p>Bucky nodded. He tilted his face and looked Steve right in the eye. "I'm fine. I've been thinking... I want to try the thing tonight." </p><p>He didn't have to explain to Steve what <i>the thing</i> was. Steve's heart started to pound, and his face grew hot as he embarrassingly got a semi at the mere thought of it. Steve swallowed hard. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah. I think the time's right. You're going to be going soon, and I don't want to do it when you'll be leaving the next day. If things go bad, I don't want to have a big space between us, filling up with... whatever it was that went so wrong. I want us to have time to talk it out if things get weird."</p><p>Steve's instinct was to deny that anything between them could get weird, but he knew Bucky's fears about all the ways this could go wrong. What Bucky was saying was smart. A bad experience followed by an extended separation wasn't what either of them would need. Bucky would need care and reassurance. Maybe Steve would, too.</p><p>"But think about if it goes well," Steve said, touching his palm to Bucky's cheek. "It could be amazing."</p><p>Bucky grinned. "That's what I'm counting on."</p><p>Steve laughed. "All right. What do we need? Gallon of lube?"</p><p>"No, I have plenty," Bucky replied. He turned his cheek and kissed Steve's palm. "I have everything I need. Jackal, you, we're good to go."</p><p>That was all Steve needed to hear. For all of his fantasies, this one was actually going to happen because Bucky wanted it. Steve had carried such guilt over this daydream, and now they were breaking through that. "Breakfast first?"</p><p>"Breakfast first."</p>
<hr/><p>A massive sex plan didn't mean real life stopped. Bucky still had a farm to run, and while Steve tried to help, other than a few manual labor tasks, he mostly got in the way. Bucky had a routine and Steve served as a distraction to it.</p><p>That evening, Steve fixed a light dinner, but Bucky still picked at his plate. He'd eaten maybe three bites and the rest of it was being pushed around with his fork.</p><p>"Nervous?" Steve asked. They sat side-by-side at the kitchen counter on stools. Bucky's two room house didn't have room for a table for eating, but Steve didn't mind. He liked sitting so close to Bucky for their meals. It was comfortable.</p><p>"A little bit. Good nervous. I'm mostly excited. I..." Bucky's eyes wandered over to Jackal, who was laying down after wolfing down his own dinner. "He's a good dog. And you're a good partner and I'm lucky to have you both."</p><p>Steve reached over and rubbed Bucky's arm. "I'm lucky too."</p><p>"He might not go for it." Bucky's gaze was still locked on Jackal, and his tone slightly distant. "This might all be a lot of anxiety for nothing."</p><p>"No, no way. I think this dog wants your ass more than I do," Steve replied.</p><p>"That's a damn lie." Bucky looked over at Steve and grinned. "No one wants my ass more than you do."</p><p>Steve kissed him and smiled. "You're damn right."</p><p>They left the dishes in the sink, and Bucky started pulling together supplies, mostly made up of towels. "It's going to be messy," he said, when Steve eyed him. "And one of these is to put down on the floor for my knees. I'm not as young as I used to be."</p><p>Once Bucky had things set up the way he wanted, he pulled Steve down onto the bed. They sat next to each other, feet dangling off the side. Bucky tangled one leg around Steve's, and rubbed his bare foot against Steve's calf, but he didn't say anything.</p><p>"We can stop right now," Steve said, turning his body toward Bucky.</p><p>Really, they could stop any time they wanted to. Steve was sure he could pull Jackal off Bucky if he had to, but he didn't want it to come to that. It was all he could do to keep his hands from shaking with excitement. This was the moment that had dominated his fantasies for months -- no, years. Ever since the moment he'd seen that video, he'd hated himself for wanting it so badly. The guilt had clouded all of it, but now they were here. They were reclaiming something shameful for themselves. </p><p>Bucky shook his head. "We can't stop, not when we're this close. I want it too much. I want... I want to do this on my terms. With you."</p><p>Steve leaned in close and kissed him. Bucky's metal hand slid around the back of Steve's neck, cold and grounding against his hot skin. Steve slipped his hand under the front of Bucky's shirt, and as he did, Bucky moved back just enough to pull off his shirt completely.</p><p>"You're getting naked," Steve said slowly. "Should I... get naked too?"</p><p>"Yes," Bucky replied right away, and then hesitated. "Maybe leave your underwear on? I might get distracted. But -- touch yourself, do whatever you want. Take off whatever you want."</p><p>Steve rested his hand and Bucky's cheek and kissed his temple on the other side of his face. "I love you."</p><p>Bucky's shoulders relaxed. In fact, all of him seemed to lose tension. "I love you too. You want to prep me?"</p><p>"Yeah," Steve said hoarsely.</p><p>Flashing Steve a grin, Bucky stood up and kicked off his jeans and underwear. He was already sporting a semi, and Steve's mouth went dry. He never got over the absolute <i>privilege</i> of seeing Bucky's body. </p><p>Bucky climbed back onto the bed, presenting his ass toward Steve. "I don't need a lot. If he -- it won't take Jackal long to provide his own."</p><p>Steve, who had been getting the lube from the bedside table, paused. He'd seen the video of Bucky getting fucked by the German Shepherd. He'd watched it many times, even, but he never looked into anything else like it. It had always been less about the dog itself, and all about Bucky. But there was something about what Bucky had just said that made him realize he didn't really know what went into this.</p><p>He scooted closer to Bucky and gently touched his backside to let him know he was that close. He got a small amount of lube on his fingers and pressed them slowly inside Bucky.</p><p>Bucky moaned appreciatively, leaning forward and resting his head on the mattress.</p><p>Steve worked the lube gently. There was time for being rough later. Everything after this moment was unpredictable, but the least this was going to be soft. He pressed a kiss to Bucky's hip. "Feel ready?"</p><p>"Let's do it," Bucky said, and he groaned when Steve pulled out his fingers. The noise caught Jackal's attention, and he sauntered over to investigate. Bucky grinned and scratched Jackal behind the ears. "Hey buddy, you wanna... well, play makes that sound weird."</p><p>Jackal licked Bucky's hand. </p><p>Bucky slipped off the bed and walked over to the middle of the floor where he had set up the towels. Some were in a stack, while others had been folded up and placed on the floor so Bucky could rest his knees, and maybe even his elbows, on them. Instead of going to a kneeling position immediately, Bucky sat down on the floor. Jackal got right up in his space, so close he could easily rest his chin atop Bucky's head. </p><p>Steve's heart was pounding so hard it thundered in his ears. Fuck, this was <i>happening</i>. He stood up and scrambled out of his clothes, not wanting to tear his gaze away from what was happening in front him for even the amount of time his shirt would go over his eyes. He followed Bucky's advice and left on his underwear. Maybe it would help keep both of them from being distracted.</p><p>Jackal was practically in Bucky's lap, his nose pushing up against Bucky's neck, making him laugh. Eyes bright, Bucky looked over Jackal's shoulder at Steve. "You coming?"</p><p>"Yeah -- Yeah." Steve got down on the floor, with Jackal between them. "What do you want to do?"</p><p>"Assume the position, I guess," Bucky said with a wicked grin. He gave Jackal a quick peck on his muzzle, and was rewarded with a sloppy doggy kiss across the cheek. He sat up onto his knees and lined them up carefully on the towel, then leaned forward to kiss Steve one more time. "You don't have to stay right here in front of me. I want you to get a good look. It's for you just as much as it's for me."</p><p>A lump formed in Steve's throat. After everything they'd been through, after every conversation and experience that had led them specifically to this moment, Bucky trusted him. Bucky still had the capacity to trust another person, even when he would have every right not to. </p><p>This wasn't the time to get emotional, at least not yet, so Steve pushed it down. "I'll be right here the whole time. Within arm's reach. You'll tell me if you need me." It wasn't a question. Steve could sometimes still give orders.</p><p>Bucky nodded. "I'll tell you."</p><p>"Do -- do we need a safeword?" Steve asked. The eleventh hour really wasn't the time to bring that up, but better late than never, right?</p><p>"If I want to stop, I'll let you know. No games or anything. Just an old fashioned 'I need to stop.'"</p><p>Steve nodded. He kissed Bucky tenderly. "Then assume the position," he mumbled, lips still brushing against Bucky's mouth. </p><p>Bucky laughed nervously, but he had a smile on his face, his eyes shining with anticipation. He dropped first onto his hands, and then went down further onto his elbows, his hair hanging over his face. His legs spread some, but Steve was familiar enough with Bucky's body, especially like this, to know exactly how open he was.</p><p>Steve kept an eye on Jackal, who was at least curious by this new game, snuffling first at Bucky's face, as if checking in to make sure he was all right. When Bucky laughed, Jackal seemed pleased by this enough to explore further.</p><p>Then, they waited. Steve stroked Bucky's hair gently. It was almost like he was petting a dog, he thought with a chuckle, and watched Jackal press his nose against the outside of Bucky's thigh. Bucky's breath hitched.</p><p>"You good?" Steve asked quietly, as not to startle the dog right when he was moving in the right direction. </p><p>Bucky nodded. He shifted his arm forward and gave Steve's calf a squeeze. He gave another sharp gasp, but relaxed as quickly as he had tensed.</p><p>Jackal had shoved his nose right into Bucky's ass. Steve's chest tightened. He'd been so sure that Jackal was going to do it, but this -- it was going to happen. He knew, like a flash, that it was going to work. It was real, and it was happening in front of him.</p><p>Bucky let out a quiet laugh as Jackal's head dipped low where Steve couldn't see what he was doing. "He's licking my balls," Bucky said, as if reading Steve's mind.</p><p>Steve gripped Bucky's hair a little tighter. It didn't matter that he couldn't see. His imagination was running wild. He'd seen what Jackal's tongue could do, slurping come out of Bucky's asshole, even licking at Steve's own cock a few times. Steve's underwear was unbearably tight, his dick throbbing to be touched.</p><p>Jackal lifted his head and he started pacing behind Bucky in tight circles, his toenails tapping against the floor with each step. Steve's eyes widened when he spotted the thick, red cock between Jackal's hind legs, out from its sheath, shiny and <i>ready</i>. He went back to sniffling Bucky's ass, his face again disappearing out of Steve's view.</p><p>"Is he--" Bucky started, but he didn't get to finish, as Jackal suddenly mounted him. He squeezed Steve's calf again, his breaths coming out in short, ragged huffs. "Oh. <i>Oh</i>."</p><p>Steve wasn't sure where to look. He wanted to keep an eye on Bucky, but his gaze kept being drawn to Jackal, towering over Bucky with his front legs wrapped around Bucky's stomach, and his hips thrusting wildly.</p><p>"He's trying to find -- he's in. Oh fuck, he's in. He's in." Bucky dipped his head so low his forehead touched the floor. "Oh, Jesus Christ."</p><p>"You okay?" Steve asked. He couldn't stop staring. He wasn't sure how he imagined himself to be some passive observer to this, because the reality was that every part of him felt like it was on fire. </p><p>"Yeah," Bucky replied, his voice cracking. "I can feel it swelling. He's so big. He's getting bigger and... oh fuck. It feels -- it's so good." He gave Steve another squeeze. "Go watch. I'm all right -- I'm good."</p><p>Steve took a beat, almost protesting that he was fine where he was, but that wasn't true, nor was it what Bucky wanted. He kissed the top of Bucky's head and slid over to the side where he could get a full view, but as promised, he stayed close. He kept one hand on Bucky's shoulder, and the other went into his underwear to pull out his cock. He was painfully hard and when he wrapped his hand around the shaft, he could feel his pulse hammering through his palm.</p><p>From his new angle, he could see everything. It was nothing like the worn out, grainy footage Steve had jacked off to years ago. Everything was heightened, inches away from his face, overwhelming him with details.. Bucky's hard cock bobbed with every thrust of Jackal's hips, precome splattering against the floor. His skin was flushed pink from his neck to his ass, his body already shiny with sweat. Jackal's tongue lolled out the side of his mouth with a big doggy grin as he fucked Bucky.</p><p>Steve's eyes widened, his cock twitching in his hand, when he caught a glimpse of Jackal's dick. It was more than double the size it had been when Steve had seen it moments before, and the knob at the base was beginning to swell.</p><p>"Fuck," Steve breathed, digging his fingers into Bucky's shoulder. "I'm -- this is -- <i>fuck</i>."</p><p>Between his loud, ragged breaths, Bucky quietly asked, "Steve?"</p><p>Complete thoughts had dried up, and Steve was now a mess of barely formed words. The slope of Bucky's back, the smells of sweat and dog surrounding them, and the wet sound of Jackal's dick plunging deep in Bucky's wet hole, it all came together in a perfect moment. It took Steve's breath away.  </p><p>Realizing perhaps a moment too late that Bucky was checking in on him, Steve replied, "It's s'hot. God, Buck, you're gorgeous."</p><p>Bucky moaned in response, burying his face against his forearm. </p><p>Steve was barely aware he was jerking himself, his attention caught on the way Bucky kept spreading his legs open further, inviting more, silently begging Jackal to go in deeper. Steve was snapped back into his own body when he came, spilling hot all over his hand, his mind lost in a blissful moment of white-out pleasure.</p><p>"Oh," Steve mumbled. He was a mess, his hand and the floor around him sticky. Still half dazed, he didn't put a lot of thought into his next move: wiping his hand on Bucky's back, right in front of Jackal's nose.</p><p>Jackal eagerly licked it up, never slowing his enthusiastic humping. His tongue worked in long strokes across Bucky's sweat-shiny back. </p><p>Bucky gasped. He pushed his ass back toward Jackal as his orgasm rippled through his body. With a mangled wail, he slapped his palm against the floor. Bucky inhaled deep with a rasp and exhaled with a sob.</p><p>Steve turned and wrapped his arm around Bucky's chest and pulled himself close so he could kiss Bucky's shoulder. "Hey, hey, you okay?"</p><p>"Uh huh," Bucky mumbled. He rubbed his face against Steve's bicep. "I'm fine, I'm good. It's overwhelming. I'm -- ahhha!"</p><p>Steve jerked his head up just in time to see Jackal swing his leg over Bucky's hips so their asses pressed together with only Jackal's knot holding them together.</p><p><i>"Steve,"</i> Bucky hissed, and Steve's attention snapped away from Jackal and toward Bucky's face. He slid back in front of Bucky where he had started, carefully cradling Bucky's face between his hands.</p><p>"I'm here," Steve said. He leaned down, burying his nose in Bucky's hair. It reminded Steve of mornings, when he would roll over onto Bucky's side of the bed after Bucky went out to work, and Steve would breathe in that scent of clean hair and sweat on his pillow. "I'm right here."</p><p>"His knot is so big," Bucky whispered. He wrapped his vibranium hand around Steve's forearm and squeezed. "It keeps pulling and it feels -- so much."</p><p>"Good so much?" Steve asked. He didn't move, except to look up at Jackal, who was pushing back against Bucky with a low whine.</p><p>Bucky groaned and rolled his hips. "Yes, no... yes. He's still coming. He's pulsating. He's -- fuck me."</p><p>Steve kissed Bucky's head and chuckled. "I can't, because Jackal has already made you his bitch."</p><p>"Fuck you, Steve, you can't say shit like that to me right now," Bucky replied, with a hint of a breathless laugh. He turned his face so his cheek was right in the center of Steve's palm. "Mmm, thank you for this. Thank you for understanding."</p><p>Steve smiled. "Because I didn't get anything out of it. Maybe we just understand each other."</p><p>"Good job to us," Bucky mumbled. He shifted so he could wrap his other arm around Steve's waist, with his head in Steve's lap. Steve moved his hands so he could gently massage the back of Bucky's neck while they waited. </p><p>As the time passed, Jackal seemed to get restless, tugging harder to free himself from Bucky's asshole, leaving both of them whimpering. Finally, Jackal popped free, and Bucky's knees went right out from under him, collapsing into Steve's arms. </p><p>"Fuck," Steve murmured. Even after nearly ten minutes of the swelling going down, he got a look at almost the full size of Jackal's penis, and it was monstrous; thick and impossibly long. Steve's own cock twitched at the mere thought of that thing having been inside Bucky.</p><p>"Does he seem okay?" Bucky asked. There was a slight slur to his words, tired, but coherent.</p><p>Steve hadn't quite taken his eyes off of Jackal. The dog was curled up in his bed, licking his cock in those long strokes that drove Bucky wild. Semen still spurted occasionally and Jackal contentedly lapped up his own as he did Bucky and Steve's.</p><p>"He seems fine," Steve replied. "Normal."</p><p>"And, uh, was it what you wanted it to be?" Bucky asked quietly. His arm was still around Steve's waist, but now that he was on his side, he curled up, his knees pulled almost to his stomach.</p><p>Steve could see the come pooling out of Bucky's asshole. Steve remembered once, a few months earlier, having been so pleased with himself for putting so much come into Bucky that it had trickled out when he walked, but that was nothing compared to the mess on the floor now. Though maybe, in a way, Steve had put it there, too.</p><p>"It was amazing," Steve replied, brushing the hair away from Bucky's face. He smiled down at Bucky, who cracked a cheeky grin right back at him. "I felt like someone turned the contrast up on high. It was the best sort of dream come true. Was it what you wanted it to be?"</p><p>Bucky hesitated and Steve's stomach flip-flopped. He wanted it to have been as good for Bucky as it had been for himself, but Bucky was the one who had submitted himself. In the big picture, it didn't matter what Steve thought. If Bucky had hated it, would he resent Steve for having enjoyed it so much? Would they lose something in this? Steve's heart weighed heavy at the thought.</p><p>"I think I wanted to want it," Bucky said, licking his lower lip. He took a shaky breath and shivered. "I wanted to have this control over it, like... if I could control this, make it mine, then it could erase everything else. But this, you, me, and Jackal, it's different. It's a whole, a whole different thing. It's nothing like -- it's better, it's everything. It wasn't what I wanted, but I don't think what I wanted could be real. This is, it's so much more than that. It's mine, and you're mine, and that's all I want. It's all I need."</p><p>"Me too." Steve felt a fat tear roll down his cheek. Bucky had endured so much, and now he wanted so little. It pained Steve to think about leaving, to deprive Bucky of one of the few things he felt he needed. There were no easy answers, no simple conclusions. He had to focus on what they had right now, and this was it. The two of them together, the way it was meant to be. Holding Bucky close while he settled.</p><p>Steve sniffed loudly and scratched the back of Bucky's neck. "You want to take a hot shower? I'll hold you up."</p><p>"Yeah, but..." Bucky sounded a little sniffly himself. He closed his eyes, but he was smiling. "I think I want to lay here for a few more minutes if that's all right with you."</p><p>Steve relaxed, running his thumb over Bucky's skin, tacky as the sweat began to dry. "We'll stay right here, as long as you want."</p>
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